The Ride from Hell

If you are a cyclist, you probably have heard someone say "Any day on a bike is a good day."; those people are full of $%!t. They weren't out riding yesterday.

I rode the Silver Comet yesterday after work; I was planning a 30 mile ride from Smyrna to Hiram and back. It was a warm sunny day when I started the ride, but that only lasted 20 minutes. At about the 5 mile mark it started to rain. It was a light rain with big drops that stung as I cruised at 17 mph, but the sun was still out, so I continued the ride. After another couple of miles, the heavens opened up.

Now as a boy, I rode through hurricane David when my family moved to Florida; and as a adult, I sailed through hurricane Hugo(not through the center, but still through)when I was in the Coast Guard, but I still say it was raining harder yesterday as I rode my bike.

I was so soaked through that the chamois, in my shorts, felt like a diaper, but not a baby's diaper, a depends diaper. Not just any depends diaper; it felt like a depends diper worn after drinking a case of beer and having your hands cuffed behind your back. Yes, I was that wet. At this point a smart man would have turned around, but no one ever called me smart (smart ass, yes; but not smart). I kept going. After all, it was just water (I'm not sugar or spice, I don't melt), and I wanted to do my 30 miles.

At the 10 mile mark it stopped raining and I continued on to Hiram. In Hiram, I stopped and had a snack and tested my cell phone (it was in my jersey pocket during the rain)(it's OK). While I was sitting on the park bench enjoying my snack, I heard thunder. I decided it was time to head back, and head back fast.

I hauled ass all the way back doing over 20 mph (that's fast for a fat guy). This was great up till the last 5 miles, when it started to rain again. Now it is late in the day, raining, and I'm wearing sun glasses (I can't take them off due to the rain). I can't see $%!t. Lucky for me, the trail isn't crowded (most everyone is smarter than me; they got out of the rain), but there was a few people still on the trail (my fellow knuckleheads). With my limited sight, and traveling over 20 mph; I was lucky not to have killed anyone (including myself). I would see occasionally see blurry figure a few feet away, and I would quickly move over.

You may be asking, "why I didn't slow down?", after all I was already wet. The answer is simple; you don't want to be pedaling a giant lightning rod any longer than you have to, especially when the lightning is popping all around you.

I made it back to my car, and loaded my bike up just minutes before it started hailing.