New Job

I've recently been promoted to the position of Administrator of Policies and Procedures. This is a far different type of job than my last one (Technical Instructor). Not only is it different than my last job, it is different than what I thought it was.

I started the new job on a Monday, and the person who had the position before me came in (he's retired, but was contracted for 4 months to do a project) and went over the job duties. One of the job duties is writing technical specifications for contracts. I've never wrote a contract in my life. I started feeling overwhelmed. That night I dreamed of writing a contract for a bus and receiving a Flintstones type bus with everyone slicking their feet out of the bottom.

The rest of the week my anxiety level was high. I hate change anyway, and this just intensified it. It has gotten easier as the weeks pass, but I'm still a bit anxious. One of the things about this job is that during any given day you are working on 5 or 6 projects. I am a very linear thinker. I like finishing something before I start something new. With 5 to 6 projects, you work on this a little, then that a little, and then check on something else. It makes me feel I'm not getting anything done. I've been going home thinking, I've gotten nothing accomplished. This is not true, I've gotten a little bit of many thing accomplished. I've just not finished anything.

I know I just have to give it some time. After all, it's a new job.

Ben Franklin Day?

I am a veteran, so I understand Veterans Day. I honor those who have fallen defending my freedom, so I understand Memorial Day. I am an American, so I understand the 4th of July. I am a Catholic (lapsed), so I understand Christmas. I live in Atlanta, I partially understand MLK day.

I don't understand Presidents day. I understood Washington's Birthday and Lincoln's Birthday. These men did something that deserved honoring them, but lopping them in with Bill Clinton, Jimmy Carter, William Taft is insulting to them.

I don't understand Columbus day, ether. Are we celebrating someone getting lost? Because, if we are I think we should have a Labrador121 day. I get lost all the time.

Another one I don't understand, but I do like, is Thanksgiving. Are we celebrating that the first settlers didn't die, or the way we back stabbed the Indians for helping us. But, I'll forgive this holiday because it has pie.

I recently heard of a petition to make Saint Patrick's day a Federal holiday. I can partially see this because Saint Patrick was a righteous dude (you don't get the title of saint by being a bum), but, lets face it, it would be a holiday for the Irish so they can drink (remember, on Saint Patrick's day everyone is Irish). And, we already have a Christan holiday (Christmas) even if it doesn't resemble one anymore.

I would like to see a new holiday; Ben Franklin day. If anyone in American history deserves a day, it's Ben. This is why I think this:

1. Every holiday we celebrate has become a reason to eat, drink and party. Who better than Ben Franklin epitomizes this spirit?
2. The public library, which allows me to use their Wi-Fi to blog. I also blog at the coffee house, which Ben has no relationship with.
3. Ben was a great inventor. A person who used his head and hands. Isn't that inspiring to the generations of couch potatoes.
4. Last is my main reason. Day Light Savings Time. I can run and do things again.

Support Ben Franklin Day.

My Blond Moment

I left the movies the other day, and as I got close to my truck I noticed scratches all down the passenger side. I un-tucked my shirt and started rubbing the scratches with it. I was fuming. The scratches weren't as bad as they first appeared, but they were bad enough.

I paced around my truck swearing and trying to determine what I should do. About the time I decided to take truck to the car wash to get a better indication of the damage, I noticed that the GRRA (Golden Retriever Rescue of Atlanta) magnet was missing from the bumper. I kept staring at the bumper, because something was different. Not only did someone take my magnet but they installed a trailer hitch. Huh??????

Yes, I was having a blond moment. My truck was parked four spaces down from the truck I thought was mine.

Somethings I Find Funny

My motto.

Joe is going to have a fine pimp coat.

Never have to clean the litterbox.

Dog Logic

A friend of mine posted on her blog a set of rules for playing with her son (http://peepnroosmom.name/2008/02/03/just-so-everybodys-clear.aspx). These rules showcase a little boys' logic. This logic is universal with all little boys.

I started thinking about logic, and realized even dogs use logic. Here is Dog Logic:

• If something is unfamiliar - Bark at it.
  
• If something is unfamiliar and has a smell - Roll in it.


• If something is unfamiliar, has a smell, and is filthy - Chew it.


• If something is unfamiliar, has a smell, is filthy, and you can't figure out what it is - Eat it.
  

Remember, you can't argue with Dog Logic; you can only clean up after it.

I Didn't Know People Dressed Like Huggy Bear

The other day I went to lunch with a friend of mine and I stepped into the set of a 70s cop show. My friend and I were waiting in line at a fish restaurant close to work, this is not the nicest neighborhoods, and in walked a pimp right out of a 70s cop show. He was wearing an ankle length fur coat. Now I know what you're thinking, although wearing a fur coat is uncommon it is done. You may be right, but wearing it with a light blue suit with matching light blue fedora (with roster feathers sticking out of it) is uncommon.

My friend wanted to take a picture with his phone, but he didn't want to get shot doing it (it really isn't the nicest neighborhood).

Learned From The Dog

You can learn many things from a dog, but if you're not careful the things you learn may not be a good learning experience.

• Learned from the dog - Don't be afraid to try new things. Be careful - Eating cat shit is eating cat shit, no matter if it's new.


• Learned from the dog - Enjoy a good belly rub. Be careful - If you're not careful who you let rub your belly, you may end up on a Fox news expos'e.


• Learned from the dog - Cats are evil. Be careful - Cats are evil.


• Learned from the dog - Enjoy the chase. Be careful - You might catch what your chasing.


• Learned from the dog - Eat with gusto. Be careful - You might end up looking like Jabba the Hut.


• Learned from the dog - Run like their is no tomorrow. Be careful - If you're a fat lazy guy, and you run like their is no tomorrow; their may be no tomorrow (can you say heart attack).
  

Be careful out there.